Victoria’s Secret is a fat racist! February 17, 2010
Wow Victoria’s Secret, thanks for setting me straight! Walked in to VS today and found out they only stock up to a size 8/10 (in selected sizes). Which leads to one conclusion – It must be illegal for fat girls to wear lingerie. You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, and Fat girls shall not wear sexy lingerie. Not such a secret now is Victoria…. you are a fat racist. You bitch!!
Conversations with food -part 1 February 4, 2010
Food you are my friend- I love you (smoother jelly donut over face)
Remember when the girls ran away from me in the school yard cause they were embarrased to have me in their group. Who was there for me? You were,chocolate chip cheesecake. You were.
When I studied my butt off for my Japanese exam, Watasha wa Hollie desu- hai, and I only got 52%, who was there? You were, can of condensed milk. You were.
When I was dancing at the local disco and having an awesome time until 2 guys started laughing at me… & not with me. Who was there? You were frozen chicken nuggets. You were
When my body aches from that time of the month, who is always there? You are Ben and Jerrys Super chuck NY fudge. You are.
When I had a bloody period accident in my school uniform and the girls teased me…. who was there? You are raw cookie dough. You are.
Where were apple, watermelon, and water? Hey? They disappeared didn’t they. What complete assholes.
DATE ME- The musical February 4, 2010
Please date me -song copyright 2010
VERSE 1
I’ve a busy snail trail
I got pimples on my back
I have hairs on my nipples
& Hair between my crack
VERSE 2
I have chubby hands
I’ve in grown hairs on my chin
I’ve got wonky british teeth
& a wicked vagina smell
VERSE 3
I’m scared of rollerccoasters
I’ve got depression &
I’ve got anxiety
I’ve got ADD, PMS, and ABC… I don’t even know what that is but its Fucked up
BRIDGE-
But please date me x3
you have to date me
Ill even pay you
Do anything you want me to… except for that
I can pretend to be a school cheerleader
But you have to date me
Come one and date me
Thats all Im asking
I won’t charge a fee… unless thats what you’re in to…?
Go out on a date with me
CHORUS- (On knees and husky heavy metal voice)
I’m fuckin begging you
I’m fucking pleading
Im on my knees
don’t leave me hanging
fuckin date me
commmmmmmeeeeeeeee onnnnnnnnnnnnnn and fuckin’ DATE meeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Positive vibes February 4, 2010
Ohhhh Positive vibes is some great stuff…. The power of the secret & scientology deal with the power of positive thinking and I think it really does work. I’m making a promise to myself. EVERY morning I will wake up and be positive- say a positive thought-and think positive.
“I have lots of work and offers in my life”
“Men want me”
I have an abundance of money”
None of these are true ….. right now….. but I will think them and believe it. It is crazy how good it feels too.
So my tip for the day- THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND BE POSITIVE. TELL THE UNIVERSE WHAT YOU WANT.
Man, I feel like Tony Robbins or something. This is some powerful shit people.
Marketing=Success February 2, 2010
Mom made me get a marketing/management degree from Sydney University so I would have a back up career. No one thought a big girl could be an actress. Not my mom’s fault, it’s just what the media tells people and coming from a small town in Australia people do not know any better. What can ya do….. (prove them wrong is all!)
Finally, my degree is going to get used. As an actor you have to be your own organization- manager, human resources, photocopy boy. So I’m getting my “marketing portfolio” together to look professional. I purchase 250 gorgeous business cards for… wait for it…. $3.99 and 100 postcards for…wait for it…. $3.99 (plus $12 is postage!!! but still-awesome !) All in color and with a gloss finish. They look hot. Maybe I should go into graphic design cause I am pretty damn good at it. Check it out-
Then I went and got my headshots printed and its a 241 deal this month. So 100 headshots for only $50. Yeah baby I am on a roll.
It feels so good to be productive.
TO DO- during this week:
1. audition for GLEE
2. read ‘Wake Up I’m fat’ (again) & lisa Lampenelli bio.
3. Get Manager/Agent.
New Years resolution- failing! February 1, 2010
Oops! I have not posted in a while. My NY’s resolution was to do something creative every day. Damn, I’m so lazy. I’m really encouraging that typecast of lazy plus size people. Yikes! My bad.
So, I made it to LA. And its fabulous. I want to live here for ever and work, work, work. But oh NO, I don’t have a work visa. This town is harder than I thought. But god damn it, I have something to offer and I will make it work. There is nothing I love more than making people laugh, cry and scream!
So I want to work hard and make it happen. But that is so hard to DO. Why is that? I guess its because I’ve been hurt in the past and it is continuing on now in my life…. again, my bad! In school I would work my ass off however, I’d get low grades. It was so frustrating. Later I found out I had a learning issue. Yeah for me! I’m special! Now days….. I don’t put in the effort because I have been programed that I won’t get anywhere with that hard work. Schooling does not raise us kids very well does it!!! It’s times like this I wish I was Jewish…. All my Jewish friends are go getters, rich, and make things happen.
But here is what I have to do- STOP being in a TRANCE. I have 4 weeks legally left in LA so I must get a manager or agent. Meet with a lawyer and get that sorted. Start auditioning, have sex, and loose 20 kilos.
This is my mission. I must choose to make it happen because this is my life…I only have one life. I don’t want to die not having lived. FUCK IT!!! I am NOW putting my chicken fillets into my bra and I’m off to make this happen.
feeling GOOD October 26, 2009
Feeling Good!
1.) Stephen Amell continues to inspire me with his Blog. I have been meaning to start a blog for about 2 years now and after seeing Stephen’s I thought… what am I waiting for. Plus as a CREATIVE SOUL it feels good to write my thoughts and feelings out. YEAH ME!!!!
check it out- http://preludetoabigbreak.com/2009/10/21/a-130-at-melrose-place/
2.) been researching LA a lot!
- Cheap car rentals and getting free insurance YEAH!!!
- A place to stay IN THE HILLS!!! For $30 a night with the coolest and nicest guy on the planet!
- Travel via Seattle and save $300.
Man- I am saving!!!
3.) Feeling really good about meeting JL. I am going to study up on my assistant book which is like my bible and go in and meet her- chilled and relaxed. I got this job!! The interview is a formality! POWER OF THE SECRET!
4.) I’m talking to Barbara & Michael about potential managers. Plus my TO agent is working on meetings. I have faith.
So…. yep…. feeling good!!! Things are coming into place. So good that I wrote it in my facebook status and now I’m dancing to JT’s ‘I’m bringing sexy back’. Ps- My dance moves are on fire beitches!!!!
WHO IS HOLLIE ? October 25, 2009
I grew up in a small town in NSW, Australia….. where nothing ever happens – unless you aspire to be a Jacaranda Queen. God knows my hips would never make Queen…. boring!!
Then a TV show called ‘Johnny Young Talent Time’ came on the airwaves where cute teen boys would sing to me and I would passionately kiss them through the TV screen. This experience, mixed with Jason Donovan & Guy Pearce from the TV show ‘Neighbours’, made me realize something…… I wanted to entertain THE WORLD!!
For the following 20 years I sat on my couch, did nothing about it, and ate… a lot!!!! Then…. Mid way threw a 3 year Management & Marketing University degree I stopped in my tracks and thought…. “what the F*$k and I doing, I do not want to be behind a desk. I am a creative person. I need to unleash my dancing skills…. sing to the world in Opera…. and make people laugh”.
So, I watched some of ‘The Maury show’ and I knew I could not sit on the side lines and have my brother-in-laws baby who was actually my blood sister and had a sex change after being adopted… and she/he was black. Thank you Maury for showing me the light.
I knew I could not listen to the constant “fat girls can not be in Hollywood” line. I knew I had to do what ever it takes to make my dreams come true. A.K.A Kathy Bates style (You are my Godess xoxoxo)
So I up and left Australia, the land of the blonde skinny thong bikini girls, and I started to make my way towards LA…. land of possibility! The place where auditions for plus size girls are weekly-NOT yearly; where there are acting courses daily; comedy clubs a plenty; open mics nights around the clock; and the possibilities of doing porn if you needed quick cash. LA is what dreams are made of. I am so excited to have my life begin…. In LA!
…… Currently I’m in Canada
….. So close……
AS AT DECEMBER 2009- I am in LA!! yeah baby, Im in LA trick…. dance all day, party all night
